Strange Islands Beyond the Self-Absorbed

As I was walking home from mass today, I noticed that I was standing in an odd place. Why was I there? I had walked a block from where I needed to turn to go home and I had not noticed anything on my way. My last memory was of crossing the street two blocks before and from that point, my legs moved, but I was lost in my mind.

Of course, most people and not just autistics wander off in their thoughts and get physically lost occasionally.  Yet, this experience is often frequent in autistic adults as well as children. Sometimes, it's called, "wandering," and it can be quite dangerous, especially when children do it. In my case today, it was simple to change my path to walk home, but I cannot recall the number of times this sort of thing has happened to me. At times of my life, especially under stress, it's more the rule than the exception.

The comical part of all this is the content of the thoughts I was having. I was deeply pondering and contemplating why I am often so self-absorbed! Oh, wow. This is the very thing I've been "working on" in my spiritual life lately, and I was too self-absorbed to see it! So, I actually stopped and laughed a little bit, (well, actually I giggled pretty intensely,) out of the blue- also a very autistic thing to do.  I did not care who might be looking on at the "loony girl."

On the way home, I was careful to look around and watch the trees and flowers. I really enjoyed the sense of being more open to the world. I did not want to look at the people, and that is common for me.

The social world is not a "safe place" for autistic people.  The social world is a mass of confusing things- Nonverbal communication is supposed to be 80% of communication and my brain has no area  that works to process such things. I know I'm missing a lot. By only hearing the words, I cannot detect deceit. I also don't pick up on insincerity well. I have to be careful to try to take in the overall context of the conversation anyway, so that I don't say something socially that doesn't "fit," and embarrass myself or offend another person.

People are also over-stimulating in themselves. Just watching their face while I hear their voice can be overwhelming. So, social time is tiring, to say the least.. and the better and more convincing I manage to do at it, the more exhausted I am later.

And, of course, this brings me to the topic of how is it that I can be less self-centered, when being inside myself is my sanctuary? At the end of the day, I look back on the times when people tried to share something about themselves to me and I assumed it was all about me, when it wasn't. I want to be more present for people. I want to be a better friend. To do that, I need to take risks and that doesn't mean I feel comfortable with them.

God did not intend a purely contemplative life in a cloister for me. He has called me to be a contemplative in the world. It's the "in the world" part I don't like. Yet, if I can get lost in a book, in artwork or a game or learning coding, I can get lost in a person and what they have to say as well, when I am determined to do that. People should never assume I'm not interested in them or that I don't care about them because of these difficulties, because it usually has little to do with that.

People who need the most love are the least safe. My Secular Carmelite friends are actually perfect friends. They do not gossip. They do not talk negatively about anyone else. If they do, they are running to confession right away! No, I am not worried about any sort of harm from them.

And yet, Jesus Christ calls me to open myself to people, who can be the source of harm, and to a life of loving, giving and service even to the point of the very crucifixion of myself. Now, it would make no sense to continually force myself to socialize to the point of meltdown every day. The trick is to take good care of myself so I can tolerate more and more time with people. To do that, I need to do more than merely monitor and reduce sensory overwhelm.

I need a deeply secure spiritual core, to provide a sense of emotional safety, so that even if I am in a meltdown, I am at peace. (And yes, that is possible, because a meltdown is the involuntary response of the nervous system to overstimulation, not a psychological issue.) We can have migraines and be at peace, so why not in a meltdown? I am learning this.

St. John of the Cross writes often about "strange islands," which is the experience of finding himself in a state of awareness and experience he has never been in before. He is referring to experiences he has within himself with God. For me, the "strange islands" are about taking God with me as I venture into the wilderness of unpredictable and confusing people.

And so, in this way, I hope I find myself "standing in an odd place" more often, with my deep sense of security in God unaltered.

Gratitude- Carmel Heart Media's 1st Birthday!

Carmel Heart Media - The First Year

During this time of Thanksgiving, I am so very grateful for the joy of my work. I'm very grateful to be able to write, edit, publish and create art for issues and causes that are important to me.

In November of 2012, Carmel Heart Media, LLC, was formed. This was after taking a year to develop a business plan and applying for and receiving a grant to get things going.

In our first year, Carmel Heart Media has produced-
*Re-publication of Borderline and Beyond, book and workbook in print and e-book Kindle and Nook and more than twenty other online stores.
*A new app for help with borderline personality treatment in Google Play and the Apple Store.
*Publication of the book, Ordinary Heroes, by Terry Ianora

In December, CHM will be releasing
*Insights from Carmel by Pat Tresselle, OCDS

...and in the new year, hopes to complete publication of
*Autism, the Dogs I Love and Me

Carmel Heart Media has also offered-

*Editing Services for several on-going clients

*Social media management and consulting services

*Web Design

*Graphic Design (book covers and memes)

To help us celebrate our birthday, take a look at the many services and products we're proud to offer. We wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanks everyone for your support,
Laura

This is autism.

Autism has been historically portrayed as being a scary and detestable thing. Parents have been horrified to learn their children are autistic. Immediately, many begin to mourn their children's future, as though, just because their child has been labeled autistic, they will probably have no future.

An interesting thing has happened in recent years as autistic children have been growing up and as adults have begun to be diagnosed as well as children. We're discovering that having autism isn't half bad. We've actually started to like ourselves.

I am autistic. Although my life has been very difficult, I wouldn't have it any other way. I cannot drive due to related neurological issues. I have no ability to make spatial maps in my head, so I get lost getting to familiar places on a regular basis. Fire alarms and alarms from emergency vehicles send me into a panic attack state that can ruin hours of an afternoon while I attempt to regain balance. I can only handle dealing with one thing at a time and I need to stay on one topic at a time in conversation, or I become easily overwhelmed. My emotional development has been very slow and will never be like others my age. Although it isn't obvious to many people, social situations are usually hard work for me that leave me feeling exhausted later. The chaos of a period of change and transition, like moving to a new home, can keep me in a constant state of being on the verge of emotional meltdown because I lose the physical bearings that orient me. So, I'm not going to say "This is autism. This is easy."

I will say, "This is autism. This is beauty," however. Here is why- Here are some traits and qualities common in autism that I never want to lose: loyalty, conscientiousness, honesty, sincerity, thoroughness. Also, being detail-oriented, being a natural non-conformist (although not by choice) and being comfortable and happy in solitude. I also like the emotional intensity that accompanies a lot of this for me, because I have to rely on using art and poetry to express it.

Organizations like Autism Speaks are still using scare tactics that make parents feel horrible about having autistic children. As a result, parents scurry about trying one quack cure after another, trying to "fix" their child. Autism Speaks also intimidates people into sending them money for a cure. Since autism is "hard-wired," just like intellectual handicaps, the only way to "fix" it is through genetic research. That is almost all the research Autism Speaks does and it will eventually lead only to identifying the genes for autism so that more of us will be aborted. In other words- Eugenics.

Autism Speaks isn't listening to us, although Autism Speaks claims to be our voice. Even though we have our own voice, they want to shout over it. Autism Speaks executives have high six figure salaries and practically spend more money on jet fuel than goes into their research programs. Don't let Autism Speaks scare you. There's no reason to be afraid of us.

Yes, I have to have help. I have home healthcare assistance several hours a week. I also have a self-employment grant that came from Vocational Rehabilitation. Because of having that help, I'm able to accomplish working towards fulfilling my potential, just as other people do. I am capable of so much more than I knew I could do.

I own my own publishing business and I am also president of a non-profit. I belong to a secular branch of a religious order. But, this blog isn't about my accomplishments. This blog is to say that having autism doesn't have to hold us back in life. Autism can even be a reason to succeed in life.

From a Christian point of view, is autism a "cross to bear" really? In some ways and on some days, it feels like it. But, more often these days, I view my autism as a great blessing. From a spiritual perspective, I've learned that being acutely aware of my weakness and relying on God to do what I cannot has helped strengthen me so that I can handle stress far more easily. I think I'm lucky that I have so many reminders that I need Him. But, above all, I'm grateful to be made the way I am.

This is autism. This is worth it.

Borderline is Brave.

"Individuals suffering from borderline personality disorder have often been treated as psychiatric lepers, with treating professionals approaching them armored with rigid boundaries, negative expectations and a poor prognosis. This does not need to be the case. Another alternative exists: to see the individual suffering from this disorder as courageous and full of creative potential."

- Laura Paxton, from Borderline and Beyond, The original edition 

 Just waking up every morning to face the day can be an act of courage for someone suffering from BPD. It is not self-pity or wallowing in turmoil that creates this difficulty. 

A person suffering from BPD continually encounters emotional over-stimulation and overwhelm, often beyond his or her capacity to cope. This is through no fault of their own, but through having a different threshold for stress. Other conditions have similar low thresholds at times, such as autism, PTSD and ADHD. 

However, in addition to this greater propensity to overwhelm, a person with BPD  must face a lifetime of learning basic skills that most others take for granted, such as distress tolerance and alternatives to self-harming behavior. 

Every day presents a challenge in facing fear and coping effectively. This can be exhausting for many. Sometimes, trauma from the past must be worked through in therapy. 

While it might be easier to turn to alcohol, drugs or cutting, a borderline in recovery works very hard to stand up to many fears. To be borderline and recovering is to be brave, and that is commendable and worthy of respect.

Great New Media on the Horizon

Well, I'm having a busy week, putting together new inspirational media! 
Here's the progress I've made since my last post-

Borderline and Beyond App

I'm working with a developer. For those familiar, the RAQ and BSI tests are included and they self-score! The entire e-book for Borderline and Beyond is in the app. There is an "emotional crisis" guide, so the user can click on a feeling state and receive quick practical tips from the Borderline and Beyond book about how to cope. The app contains these topics to tap on- Emotional Overwhelm, Panic, Grief, Traumatic Memories, Obsessive Thoughts, Hurt and Sad. And there's more! Well, that hasn't been developed yet, but it is coming and it will be a great surprise!

Insights from Carmel- Pat Tresselle, OCDS
This book is in the editing phase. I have an assistant editor now, who is so outstanding I'm freed up to work on other things, such as graphic design and formatting for this book-

Autism, The Dogs I Love and Me- Christopher and George Dean
This children's picture's book is full of graphic art design and stories from Christopher's life, from birth to middle school. It is a joy to produce. I may provide some "sneak peaks" in further blogs.

And, in other news...
As usual, my books are for sale on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online. There is also a kindle edition on Amazon and my ebook is coming soon to the Apple store. Look for it there!

I'll keep you all updated!
As always, let me know if you'd like to pre-order or be notified via email as books are released.

Autism, The Dogs I Love and Me- Coming Soon!

Great News! 

Carmel Heart Media has a new book on the horizon.

Coming soon:  

Autism, the Dogs I Love and Me, a children's book by Christopher Dean (with help from his father, George Dean) 

Christopher tells the inspirational story of how he came to terms with having autism, partly through the help of his furry pals. This should be a book to help introduce even very young children to what autism means and how life can still be very good.

Christopher's father, George, is from my home town of Rome, Georgia. We are both alumni of Shorter College, which is now Shorter University.

Take a close-up look at the cover. There are more than 30 different dog breeds represented!

Christopher Dean with his dad, George Dean

Borderline and Beyond: The Original is Coming Back Soon!

I'm feeling really excited about the whole new set of Borderline and Beyond products soon to launch. For those who remember, when I was in my mid-twenties, I wrote a book, spiral bound it and sold it on a personal website and on Amazon. The book became a niche best seller and so it was re-published as a book and workbook set. My book has been revised twice, once to include "spiritual" principles and once to include applications to autism.

The strangest thing has happened since the last revision- I've continually received e-mails to bring the original book back. I've seen my original books being sold on E-bay for outrageous prices. The first was the best and so I'm bringing it back now-- but with much prettier covers!

Look, I even have a "fake spiral binding" graphic! Doesn't it look real?

Here's a picture of the accompanying workbook. I'm really happy to have my original book back. Also, most of you know I haven't had a website since 2007, when I let laurapaxton.com go. Carmelheart.com will be launched soon and these books will be for sale along with a Borderline and Beyond E-book and a way-cool App. 

I'll also be showcasing books I've published for other authors, including Terry Ianora, OCDS and I'm working with three other authors to bring their dreams to press!

You'll also see my books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble soon. I'll let you know when they are up.

This is an exciting time. I'm happy to share it with you.

I Don't Know How To Stop

I feel whiny today. Yesterday, I cried.
Why, oh why, do I have to slow down?
I hate it. I want to stay busy.

Everyone who cares about me annoys me by trying to get me to stop. I want them to go away, since I'm too busy for them anyway.

My therapist said I need more breaks in my day to take care of myself.

My spiritual director said I need to keep doing Eucharistic Adoration for the next three months and then we'll re-evaluate whether I need to continue. I don't have to obey what he says, but I'm not seeking direction because I'm a genius at how to grow spiritually. My talents lie more in the realm of driving myself to the edge of psychosis and back. So, I agreed and I do what I agree to do. I realize that what I want isn't always what I need.

I don't want to slow down. It's almost as if I feel the world will come to an end if I do.

I used to play computer games non-stop at night, five and six hours at a time, to de-stress. But, that just charges adrenalin and provides escape. Plus, annoyingly, none of my advisers think this is healthy anymore or want me to continue. In fact, I have yet to find anyone in their right mind that thinks I should continue. Wow, I'd love to find one!

So, I have to do other things, like turn to God more. 

I'm pushing myself really hard. I've spoken before small audiences four times this week- four. And it terrifies me to do that. I'm also making a special effort to be more present and responsive to my boyfriend. I emotionally neglect him and autism is a reason. Especially when I'm overloaded, I want and actually need to shut down and go inside myself to hibernate from everything. However, it is but not an excuse to ignore him completely and in general, act like a jerk. I can't stop doing my best to give my best. He's sick this week too, so he needs more care.

Also, there is my overwhelmingly difficult Quickbooks class and the fact that I am preparing three books for printing and none of that is going as smoothly as I think it should. But mainly, the problem is that I don't want to let go of my control and give that over to God. I just don't.

I tell every autistic I know not to make big changes in their lives all at once or they will set themselves up for meltdown. Yet, I refuse to listen to what I know is true.

Why?

I SAY that I want to do the right thing, with all my heart, more than anything else. And my heart breaks that it's never enough. Yet, even though I feel that's true. I'm lying to myself. I don't know what the right thing is. I just want to push myself to feel important, valued, and redeemed. It's really all about me.

After receiving communion yesterday, I just prayed, and I said, "Jesus, I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to put limits on anything." I felt His presence clearly and a soft voice spoke in my heart, "My love needs no limits."

The infinite love God offers us doesn't push us to the brink of insanity. That sort of thing is MY forte, not His!

I need to go do my Eucharistic Adoration in about an hour. For my non-Catholic friends, it's basically spending an hour with God in a chapel. Tomorrow, at the end of my monthly day at the Carmelite Monastery, I meet before a council of officers and our spiritual adviser, to see if I will be permitted to enter formation. What do I need to do more than focus on de-stressing and making room for that unlimited love in my heart? Only my pride wants to save the world. Enough.

Carmel Heart Media- The First Four Months

This year, Lent has drawn me inward and has helped me clear out some obstacles from my mind. I've had an unusually good month. I've let go of some attachments to people, places and things that used to cause me spiritual and psychological problems. I've been able to relax more. I've been feeling "like myself" more. The last few years have been hard because I did feel like I lost myself and have just recently found myself again.

As of today, Carmel Heart Media has been in existence for four months. I'm at work publishing an author's book on autism from a child's perspective and I have arranged a book signing tomorrow for another author. I'm working on memoirs for another author whose work will not be publicly released. 

The re-release of the original version of Borderline and Beyond is almost ready to go to press. I only need to get the new covers off the old hard drive from the computer that broke and had to be replaced. I've also begun the process of converting Borderline and Beyond to an e-book. Months ago, I started developing a Borderline and Beyond app and I would love to go back to finishing it up, but I have too many other priorities first!

In addition to all the above, Carmel Heart Media provides social media management services for 1st Way of Eugene, Oregon, and CHM is piloting the new internet outreach, "Talk to a Friend." My work for 1st Way ends up being a quarter to a third of all I do each week. I've also recently become a 1st Way Board member. 

The most helpful things for me this year have been spiritual direction, my Carmelite weekends and aspirancy process and my boyfriend, Mark. Mark is devoted to the Lord and far more disciplined in his spiritual practice than I am, so he serves as an inspiration. Having someone close to me who has the same goal of growing nearer to God has brought the two of us nearer together. We're now working well in synchrony and he is learning to do a lot of what I do and helping out with what has ended up being too much for one person. In April, I hope to meet with as many student pro-life groups as possible to help forward the mission of 1st Way, as well. I think of more things to do than I can do alone, and I tend to do too much of that!

Thanks to everyone who has lent support. I look forward to introducing new books very soon.

Stress and the Compulsive Carmelite

I've been away from this blog for a while because of several changes in my life. The most important was the decline in my father's health. My father, who suffers from Parkinson's Disease, intermittent dementia and heart problems, has been in the hospital all week and is going into a nursing home tomorrow, which will hopefully be temporary. Hopefully, his condition can be rehabilitated back to his previous level. My week has been rife with anxiety over my father's condition and with family problems causing great stress in general. My relationship with my father has always been the most important relationship in my life. I'm a Daddy's girl. I adore him. Even the thought of his suffering at all stabs me in the heart.

Also, a very good thing happened over the past week. I was able to receive my grant funding in order to further my efforts in publishing and also to produce e-books and apps. At first, I was ecstatic, but then the glow dissolved into the realization that I need to follow my business plan carefully and make meeting my goals happen. New world, new business, new frontier, with expectations. I felt a bit intimidated and anxious, although still confident, overall.

Any student who has taken Psychology 101 knows that significant life events, both good and bad, can be equally stressful. Stress has more to do with life changes in general than with our experience of whether we like them or not. And, changes are a bit harder for people on the autism spectrum. I've had to make a lot of changes to my routines, schedules, and conceptualization of things. Through all this time, I've been told I am handling it all really, really well.

Why? Well, it's not because of coping skills. It's not because I'm doing anything new really. Something natural is happening. Yes, really. I'm truly grateful. For about a couple of months before I first became Catholic, I started praying the Liturgy of the Hours two and three times a day. At the time I started, I was depressed and it WAS a coping skill to pray throughout the day. Now, ten months later, it has become a habit. Shortly after becoming Catholic, I began to seek out novel ways to complicate my life. I tried to do the Sacred Heart Novena nine times a day for nine days. That went so well that after 21 days, I gave up trying to do it at all. I started a checklist of all the various prayer practices I wanted to integrate into my day, and frustrate and berate myself daily and weekly by my inability to reach even 50% of my goals.

At long last, I went to my spiritual director, Father Richard. He explained to me that prayer should be “natural” and “organic.” My first thought was about hippies selling chemical free vegetables. The concept of natural prayer did not compute. Why not? Not trusting myself had a lot to do with it. So, I let go of all but two prayer practices, at Father Richard's request. I started to notice an interesting thing: spontaneous, natural prayer began to happen.

Walking downtown in Eugene presents copius opportunities to pray for people who are homeless and mentally ill. I started to notice praying for them was automatic as soon as I saw them. I started noticing myself automatically praying a lot as I walked around downtown. In a doctor's waiting room, I would become aware I was reciting the Divine Mercy chaplet, just because I was thinking of someone and worrying about their well-being. Prayer just bubbles up from my heart, sometimes at the least likely times.

Secular Carmelites commit to “ponder the law of God day and night.” How does a person make that happen? I think you need to really, really want it to happen. My natural goal is today and every day to glorify God in all I do. I am blessed with unquenching desire for Him. So, I'm learning to trust the rhythms of my heart, allowing myself to pray naturally. Humans were created to praise and serve God, so of course, it should be natural.

So, I have relaxed and I have let go a lot more. I find I'm laughing more. I find I'm frazzled less. I'm naturally praying for Daddy and for the rest of my family around the clock. Instead of worrying, my habit is to pray instead. Am I coping well because prayer is a “coping skill” I am using? I don't really think so. I'm coping well because I am an instrument of prayer God is using. Nothing could be more amazing.

Growing up: It's Not About What I Want

Sometimes, I feel blocked in my prayer life. I spend a lot of time analyzing why I might be blocked, examining my conscience over and over, looking at my motives and trying to sort out what might be a sin. I've learned now just to take notes. I have a journal with a section for daily musings and a separate section for examination of conscience. I keep them separate so that I have a more focused, clear intention when I do my evening "examination."

Sometimes, I've used columns, weighing ethics of right and wrong, but I'm still focused on sorting it out. It's not like journaling about what a nice lunch I had with a friend. Even everyday notes like that can give me a great sense of patterns and progress in my life, but I write in the "journal" section for expression and the "examination" section for discernment. 

This process is really tough for me. Part of the reason it's tough is my autism. Ambiguity and shades of grey are not very easy for me to wade through. Part of the problem is that like every sinner, the voice of what I want to do is louder than the whisper of what is the right thing to do. There are people who have actually made a religion out of listening to the loud voice of what they want and drowning out their annoying conscience. Thankfully, that didn't work for me too well, but the vestiges of that sort of thinking can trip me up if I'm not careful.

While I used to panic about doing the wrong thing, I've learned to go about this process calmly. One of our Carmelite priests, Father Jan (now in Uganda), told me that God has an interesting way of working in our lives. He only shows us one thing at a time, and it's what's right in front of us. So, when we're wondering what to do, look to the present moment and to what God is saying here and now. That type of thinking has calmed me down when I've felt the frantic need to figure things out. Father Jan is also the one who helped me figure out a system of note taking and analysis, so I could look at it like a scientist and see patterns over time.

Why bother with all this? The old me did examinations of my life to see where I was holding myself  back from getting what I wanted in life, whether that be material wealth, fame, love or luxury. I would try to eliminate traces of guilt, fear and shame in order to pursue my goals with greater success.

The new me says, "Who cares?" God is SO much greater than my petty little desires and concerns. Although God ultimately wants us to experience His peace and joy, for us to come to Him solely to seek consolation is nothing more than using Him and treating Him like an object. My goal is to have a real relationship, really give and take with God. Sorry if it sounds crude, but it's not "do me, do me," anymore. Every time I meditate on the life of Jesus, I'm getting to know Him. I'm not just droning a monologue on and on about myself in prayer. Jesus is God and he is also fully human forever. I know he loves me and all, but even perfect humans get bored!

When I was in RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults,) on my way to becoming Catholic, we learned in class that the purpose of Catholicism is to have a mature relationship with Jesus Christ. At first, I was surprised. I had grown up being told that Catholics didn't think for themselves and were childlike in spirituality. I learned that nothing is further from the truth. Father Bryce, one of our parish priests, taught us that it's not that Catholics don't think FOR ourselves; We just don't think BY ourselves. We think WITH theological giants through 2000 years of combined experience and councils.

More importantly, whose spirituality is more mature than that of the saints? In RCIA, I asked, "What does a mature relationship with Christ look like?" Well, we have thousands of examples throughout history of what that looks like. Various, diverse, creative manifestations of God through amazing people show us the way to ultimate meaning and truth.

I wish I could tell you why I do what I do and what I hope to gain by it, but I can't. If I could do that, I might as well find a spiritual charlatan who will know how to sell it to me. God gives us unconditional love, but WE can choose to make it conditional by refusing to cooperate with that love. Part of that love is the expectation that I do not just spend my life "manifesting my desires." Instead, I spend my life learning to discern and manifest HIS.

This link goes to a really neat method. A Carmelite nun gives an outline of how to examine conscience through using the Interior Castle of St. Teresa. Truly cool!

The Awesome Sister Carmen Explains All

The Ignatian Examen is a popular method of exploration of conscience. It's good too. 

Ignatian Examination of Conscience

Change of Heart

Welcome to my new blog, Carmel Heart!

Some may remember me as the author of Borderline and Beyond, a self-help book that I revised twice over the past fifteen years. Soon, the book will be published again as the original edition. I'm looking forward to returning to my simple roots, writing what is positive and practical.

Others may know me as the woman who made over seventy videos on YouTube about autism. Yes, I was diagnosed with autism later in life and found a new way to share about coping skills, through video. Yet, when I updated Borderline and Beyond with information about autism, the essence of the book was diluted. In the future, I'll be separating the subjects.

I've spent the past five years or so in reflection. Life wasn't going the way I wanted. I had gained a lot of the material things I wanted, including prestige, and yet my life was empty. New Age teaching that I thought was of solid benefit fell apart when I realized a life “all about me” and “learning to love myself” was empty and devoid of meaning. So, I dismantled pretty much my whole way of doing things, including letting my old website go. I decided I didn't care anymore about living just for me, so I didn't do much of anything at all until I converted to Catholicism and found a whole new way of life with meaning. That meaning is nourished through my study of the Carmelite tradition.

Carmel is a mountain range in northern Israel where the Carmelite tradition began with a sacrifice by Elijah, and continued as a community of hermits on Mount Carmel with the prophet Elias. The Carmelites were founded as a Christian order in the 12^th Century.

During a drought and famine, in a world that was lost and worshiping idols, Elijah brought bountiful truth to the heart and rain to the land.

Well, now I'm an aspirant for the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites. The goal of this blog is not religion, but rather for me to write as much as possible from the spirit and heart of Carmel. But no, I'm not planning to be preachy. I'm not re-doing anything I've done before to make it religious. Religion has changed my heart, from a hardened heart to a more natural heart. But, it has not made me want to push more ideas, just more compassion.

The question I hope to answer through this blog is, “How can we re-infuse our lost, dead culture with vibrancy and life?” Join the discussion. Add your voice and ideas.

“Answer me, Lord, answer me, so that these people will know that you, Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.” -Elijah (1 Kings 18:37)