When I wrote, “Borderline and Beyond”
seventeen years ago, I just wanted to survive, to want to live and to
stay out of a psych hospital. Three years later, my goals expanded to
include “learning to love myself” and “making lots of money.”
I found the perfect fit for those goals in a type of new age
philosophy. The techniques and practices I used worked. I had greatly
improved self-esteem, career success, money and status. I was happier
than I had been in my life.
However, I'm not still following that
philosophy. Some people (who do not think I've completely lost my
mind these days) ask me why. The reason is that none of these areas
of “success” in my life were places where my heart was designed
to find rest. St. Thomas Aquinas gives us a list of four goals that
will create an empty life if pursued for their own sake: wealth,
status, power and comfort. I can attest that this is true.
Our hearts are designed by God to find
rest in Him. The philosophy I was following included other goals such
as “becoming God,” and learning to love yourself as God. One
teacher I had asked me to spend hours in front of the mirror trying
to “love myself perfectly,” as this was the key to my
enlightenment.
During that time, (around 2001-06) I
revised Borderline and Beyond to include similar practices that I
recommended for people to try, such as the “mirror work.” And
yes, it does work, up to a point. It's also a band-aid to cover a
deep hole in your heart. Take the band-aid off and the hole will be
just as deep and wide. I've heard it said that in each person there
is an infinitely deep hole, a God sized hole, and that's why only God
can fill it.
The “hole” in our heart cannot be
filled with ourselves. We don't live in isolation and we are created
in the image of God, who is infinitely bigger than we are. The good
news is that God can and does fill that hole when we ask Him to. When
I realize how I need God for every breath I take and every move I
make, and when I am aware of my absolute dependence on God, God has a
chance to fill that hole with his strength, love and wisdom. This is
the only way to peace and purpose in life.
Am I going to revise Borderline and
Beyond again to include a religious or Christian theme? No, actually
not. I'll be restoring my book to its original condition, just as I
wrote it while in my mid-twenties. My book was written to reach
people in a similar place and it will and has reached down and lifted
up those who are struggling with day to day emotional survival. I'm
simply taking out the added stuff.
The new book will be called, Borderline
and Beyond: The Original. The accompanying workbook never came with
the original book. It was added later. That book will be changed but
again, no religious ideas added. The only difference will be that I'm
taking out anything that in my opinion is unnecessary and possibly
confusing the reader more than helping her.
Borderline and Beyond has always been a
book about recovery, strength and hope. My hope is that the book will
be a better resource in the future, once I complete the restoration
of the book.
The Borderline and Beyond Smartphone App is available on Google Play and it should be available in the Apple Store today or tomorrow. 
