Insights from Carmel- A Guide to Growth Toward Union with God

Insights from Carmel by Patricia Tresselle, OCDS, has gone to press! The books should be available in the next week or two, just in time for Christmas!

I'm more excited about this book project than any others I have done this year (including my own.) I love Pat's book. She provides an in-depth study of the writings of Carmelite saints, Carmelite prayer types and methods, and meditations through the liturgical year. 

The book is intended to be used at the discretion of formation directors in the various communities but it is also a great introduction for anyone who wants to learn more about Carmelite spirituality and the Carmelite way of life.

The goal of Carmelite spirituality is to live in union with God. Pat Tresselle shares some powerful insights and tools to grow as close as possible in relationship to Christ our Lord.

Here's what's in the book (from the table of contents):

   

1. The Process of Formation
2. The Development and Necessity of Prayer 
3. Basic Types of Prayer
4. Stages of Prayer: Following St. Teresa 
5. Prayer and St. John of the Cross
6. St. Therese and the “Little Way of Prayer”
7. Prayer and Christian Meditation 
8. Lent, Penance and Prayer 
9. Epiphany
10. A Journey Through The Interior Castle 
11. May- The Month of Mary
12. Prayer and Action In a Carmelite Life
13. St. John of The Cross, Teacher and Guide 
14. Meditation On The Magnificat
15. The Beatitudes and Carmelite Spirituality 
16. The Way of the Cross and The Way of Nada 
17. Meditation on Gethsemane
18. Meditation of Jesus’ Last Words on the Cross

Gratitude- Carmel Heart Media's 1st Birthday!

Carmel Heart Media - The First Year

During this time of Thanksgiving, I am so very grateful for the joy of my work. I'm very grateful to be able to write, edit, publish and create art for issues and causes that are important to me.

In November of 2012, Carmel Heart Media, LLC, was formed. This was after taking a year to develop a business plan and applying for and receiving a grant to get things going.

In our first year, Carmel Heart Media has produced-
*Re-publication of Borderline and Beyond, book and workbook in print and e-book Kindle and Nook and more than twenty other online stores.
*A new app for help with borderline personality treatment in Google Play and the Apple Store.
*Publication of the book, Ordinary Heroes, by Terry Ianora

In December, CHM will be releasing
*Insights from Carmel by Pat Tresselle, OCDS

...and in the new year, hopes to complete publication of
*Autism, the Dogs I Love and Me

Carmel Heart Media has also offered-

*Editing Services for several on-going clients

*Social media management and consulting services

*Web Design

*Graphic Design (book covers and memes)

To help us celebrate our birthday, take a look at the many services and products we're proud to offer. We wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanks everyone for your support,
Laura

This is autism.

Autism has been historically portrayed as being a scary and detestable thing. Parents have been horrified to learn their children are autistic. Immediately, many begin to mourn their children's future, as though, just because their child has been labeled autistic, they will probably have no future.

An interesting thing has happened in recent years as autistic children have been growing up and as adults have begun to be diagnosed as well as children. We're discovering that having autism isn't half bad. We've actually started to like ourselves.

I am autistic. Although my life has been very difficult, I wouldn't have it any other way. I cannot drive due to related neurological issues. I have no ability to make spatial maps in my head, so I get lost getting to familiar places on a regular basis. Fire alarms and alarms from emergency vehicles send me into a panic attack state that can ruin hours of an afternoon while I attempt to regain balance. I can only handle dealing with one thing at a time and I need to stay on one topic at a time in conversation, or I become easily overwhelmed. My emotional development has been very slow and will never be like others my age. Although it isn't obvious to many people, social situations are usually hard work for me that leave me feeling exhausted later. The chaos of a period of change and transition, like moving to a new home, can keep me in a constant state of being on the verge of emotional meltdown because I lose the physical bearings that orient me. So, I'm not going to say "This is autism. This is easy."

I will say, "This is autism. This is beauty," however. Here is why- Here are some traits and qualities common in autism that I never want to lose: loyalty, conscientiousness, honesty, sincerity, thoroughness. Also, being detail-oriented, being a natural non-conformist (although not by choice) and being comfortable and happy in solitude. I also like the emotional intensity that accompanies a lot of this for me, because I have to rely on using art and poetry to express it.

Organizations like Autism Speaks are still using scare tactics that make parents feel horrible about having autistic children. As a result, parents scurry about trying one quack cure after another, trying to "fix" their child. Autism Speaks also intimidates people into sending them money for a cure. Since autism is "hard-wired," just like intellectual handicaps, the only way to "fix" it is through genetic research. That is almost all the research Autism Speaks does and it will eventually lead only to identifying the genes for autism so that more of us will be aborted. In other words- Eugenics.

Autism Speaks isn't listening to us, although Autism Speaks claims to be our voice. Even though we have our own voice, they want to shout over it. Autism Speaks executives have high six figure salaries and practically spend more money on jet fuel than goes into their research programs. Don't let Autism Speaks scare you. There's no reason to be afraid of us.

Yes, I have to have help. I have home healthcare assistance several hours a week. I also have a self-employment grant that came from Vocational Rehabilitation. Because of having that help, I'm able to accomplish working towards fulfilling my potential, just as other people do. I am capable of so much more than I knew I could do.

I own my own publishing business and I am also president of a non-profit. I belong to a secular branch of a religious order. But, this blog isn't about my accomplishments. This blog is to say that having autism doesn't have to hold us back in life. Autism can even be a reason to succeed in life.

From a Christian point of view, is autism a "cross to bear" really? In some ways and on some days, it feels like it. But, more often these days, I view my autism as a great blessing. From a spiritual perspective, I've learned that being acutely aware of my weakness and relying on God to do what I cannot has helped strengthen me so that I can handle stress far more easily. I think I'm lucky that I have so many reminders that I need Him. But, above all, I'm grateful to be made the way I am.

This is autism. This is worth it.

Borderline and Beyond App Screenshots

The Borderline and Beyond Smartphone App is available on Google Play and it should be available in the Apple Store today or tomorrow.

What's in the app?

*Complete Ebook- The full text of the original version of Borderline and Beyond

AND many other features-Take a look!

Tab 2- Quick Reference in Crisis

TAB 1- Complete Ebook (Index Shown here)

Tab 3- Positive Reminders

TAB 4- Question Guides- To Help You Think Through Difficult Situations

Result when you click on Question 3 (Above)

Example Question Process-Relationship Category

TAB 5- Info about CHM, with social media links

AND

Tests to Measure Your Progress

The Heartbeat of Jesus, Why I Live

I was wandering the woods in my amnesia, 

Following the lights to scattered campfires, wandering to who knows where.

The moon was full

My heart was hungry

Who am I? Where am I?  So lost, confused and crying.

When my father held me as a baby, his heartbeat soothed my every tear.

When I am close to Jesus, I am near his heartbeat too. 

I am a baby in his arms and His Sacred Heart holds my heart in the safest place I'll ever be.

As I grew older, my dad and I camped by the river. The heartbeat of the river soothed me in the intoxicating laurel thicket where we slept.

Every evening, my dad's friend would say, “This is the life.” 

Years passed when I could not hear that heartbeat. 

All I could hear were chaotic sounds of need and fear, 

frantic crickets and cicadas seeking quickly fleeting mates.

The moon was full

My heart was hungry

Starving, all alone.

One day, I will find myself, floating on my back, nailed to my cross.

I won't move there but I'll be freer than in all my life, alongside of Jesus in that river of peace. 

Indifferent to my pain, my peace will deepen, more than I have ever known. He has shown me that. 

Jesus, floating with me, will say to me, with all delight, “My child, this is the life.”

The Cross, it is the Life, the life that pulls me back into the rhythm of His heart at His breast and the waves in their joy, “My child my child, this is the Only Life.”

My heart is full

As the moon fades into dawn.

Amen.

-Laura Paxton 11/02/2013

My Heroine, St. Teresa of Jesus

Today is the feast day of St. Teresa of  Jesus, also known as St. Teresa of Avila. She is my patron saint and the foundress of my order, the Order of Discalced Carmelites.

Before I became Catholic, I was researching to write a book about contemplative prayer. I read several books by and about famous contemplatives during that time, but the story that struck me the most was that of St. Teresa of Avila. Although she had spent her life as a nun, she did not have a "spiritual awakening," or what could be called a "spiritual conversion experience," until she was in her forties. I approached reading St. Teresa as a woman also in my forties who was disillusioned with life, directionless and wanting something more. 

In popular spirituality, which some refer to as "new age," much is often said about "union with God." Union with God can give unlimited power, bliss and wisdom, they say. Seems everyone has a path to get there, for the right price. Yes, I bought in to it. It's sad to me now that I once believed that good feelings, money and status and power could contribute at all to quality of life. They really don't.

St. Teresa had a similar realization, and wrote:

"I spent nearly 20 years on that stormy sea, often falling in this way and each time rising again, but to little purpose, as I would only fall once more... I can testify that this is one of the most grievous kinds of life which I think can be imagined, for I had neither any joy in God nor any pleasure in the world. When I was in the midst of worldly pleasures, I was distressed by the remembrance of what I owed to God; when I was with God, I grew restless because of worldly affections."

The confirmation saint I chose, when I became Catholic, was St. Teresa of Avila. This is before I even knew there was a Secular order of Discalced Carmelites. My sponsor had given me a book with the lives of the saints in it, and I had considered choosing another one. In the process, I read and became impressed with the lives of many saints, but still my main affection went to St. Teresa.

Only a month or two after my conversion, I met Terry Ianora, director of 1st Way in Eugene, Oregon, who is a Secular Carmelite. Immediately, I wanted to find out more about the order. I spent a year as an aspirant before being accepted into the order's formation program early last summer.

Thank you, St. Teresa, for showing me what life is really all about. It's all about Him. He is all that gives life breath and power and meaning. He gives all purpose and following His will provides all that is satisfying and worth living for.

St. Teresa of Jesus, pray for us.

Jesus loves us MOST where we are weak.

At the Secular Carmelite retreat I went to last weekend, I heard a message I didn't expect and it has changed the way I'm hearing scripture, liturgy and homilies. I have different ears somehow.

The topic of our retreat was, "Rediscovering the Riches of Divine Intimacy," with retreat master Father Robert Barcelos, OCD. I had been wondering how to grow in intimacy with God, pondering how it was that I had been feeling stuck for so long and even having a hard time following through on my prayer commitments. 

Father Robert said that Jesus loves us MOST where we are weak. He doesn't love us DESPITE when  we're weak, but loves us MOST when we are weak. It's his preference. Whenever Jesus picks a place of encounter, it is in a place where life is messy, shameful or overwhelming for us.

Where did Jesus choose to encounter mankind, face to face, in the flesh, for the first time? In a dank, smelly stable, in the middle of the night. He could have chosen any other place to meet us, but he chose there, a messy, unpleasant, uncomfortable place. When we follow Jesus through the scriptures, where does He meet us? He goes to where the tax collectors and prostitutes are. He is right there when the adulterous woman is to be stoned to death. He's there with the sick, hungry and grieving. He doesn't seek out places where He isn't needed or where people don't realize that they need Him, but He is, as Father Robert said, "a magnet for our affliction." He wants with all His heart to love us there.

The enemy also zones in on affliction. Like a shark smelling blood, he moves quickly for a kill. The greatest spiritual battles of our lives are around our wounded places and our weak places. The enemy will try to make you run from God in shame, but where do you go when you feel ashamed? Into the arms of the enemy instead. 

Spiritual Discernment Tip from Father Robert: Jesus will never want you to run away in shame as Adam and Eve did in the garden. They ran in shame because they were under the power of the enemy during that time. Jesus will correct us but He will also embrace us in His love. He treasures our trust and our repentance more than anything else.

Simple truth but powerful for me. I notice a lot now when I start to feel shame, pain, weak and overwhelmed, especially now that I'm moving. I remember Father Robert saying, "Jesus loves you MOST in your messiness." Before communion, we say, "Lord, I am not worthy that you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed." Honestly, I have always thought to myself that I am not worthy for anyone to come under my roof. I'm a mess. I don't want to invite anyone into that. But, apparently, Jesus is like a One Man clean-up crew. He's not a King we have to prepare the homes of our souls for, so they'll be good enough for Him to enter. He's the only one who CAN clean them, order them, straighten them out. When he knocks, we should say, "Thank the Lord he's here. he's the only one who can heal my soul," instead of running from Him in shame. 

I don't have to run from God anymore, which is what I have been doing when I skip my liturgy of the hours or my daily prayer time on occasion. I don't have to run away from love. He WANTS to live in me, and he loves me MOST when I'm a mess inside because he loves to do His work to order it.

So, lately at mass, I'm transfixed on what I hear. I go to daily mass, so honestly some days, I'm thinking, "blah, blah, blabbity blah." Now, I'm hearing mercy and grace and love and what God wants to do for me to help me carry out His will. Hey, I've heard this a zillion times but never really HEARD it before. I realize this will pass, but I'm not daydreaming. My mind isn't wandering. I'm right there... because I know He loves me there.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9