Jesus loves us MOST where we are weak.

At the Secular Carmelite retreat I went to last weekend, I heard a message I didn't expect and it has changed the way I'm hearing scripture, liturgy and homilies. I have different ears somehow.

The topic of our retreat was, "Rediscovering the Riches of Divine Intimacy," with retreat master Father Robert Barcelos, OCD. I had been wondering how to grow in intimacy with God, pondering how it was that I had been feeling stuck for so long and even having a hard time following through on my prayer commitments. 

Father Robert said that Jesus loves us MOST where we are weak. He doesn't love us DESPITE when  we're weak, but loves us MOST when we are weak. It's his preference. Whenever Jesus picks a place of encounter, it is in a place where life is messy, shameful or overwhelming for us.

Where did Jesus choose to encounter mankind, face to face, in the flesh, for the first time? In a dank, smelly stable, in the middle of the night. He could have chosen any other place to meet us, but he chose there, a messy, unpleasant, uncomfortable place. When we follow Jesus through the scriptures, where does He meet us? He goes to where the tax collectors and prostitutes are. He is right there when the adulterous woman is to be stoned to death. He's there with the sick, hungry and grieving. He doesn't seek out places where He isn't needed or where people don't realize that they need Him, but He is, as Father Robert said, "a magnet for our affliction." He wants with all His heart to love us there.

The enemy also zones in on affliction. Like a shark smelling blood, he moves quickly for a kill. The greatest spiritual battles of our lives are around our wounded places and our weak places. The enemy will try to make you run from God in shame, but where do you go when you feel ashamed? Into the arms of the enemy instead. 

Spiritual Discernment Tip from Father Robert: Jesus will never want you to run away in shame as Adam and Eve did in the garden. They ran in shame because they were under the power of the enemy during that time. Jesus will correct us but He will also embrace us in His love. He treasures our trust and our repentance more than anything else.

Simple truth but powerful for me. I notice a lot now when I start to feel shame, pain, weak and overwhelmed, especially now that I'm moving. I remember Father Robert saying, "Jesus loves you MOST in your messiness." Before communion, we say, "Lord, I am not worthy that you come under my roof, but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed." Honestly, I have always thought to myself that I am not worthy for anyone to come under my roof. I'm a mess. I don't want to invite anyone into that. But, apparently, Jesus is like a One Man clean-up crew. He's not a King we have to prepare the homes of our souls for, so they'll be good enough for Him to enter. He's the only one who CAN clean them, order them, straighten them out. When he knocks, we should say, "Thank the Lord he's here. he's the only one who can heal my soul," instead of running from Him in shame. 

I don't have to run from God anymore, which is what I have been doing when I skip my liturgy of the hours or my daily prayer time on occasion. I don't have to run away from love. He WANTS to live in me, and he loves me MOST when I'm a mess inside because he loves to do His work to order it.

So, lately at mass, I'm transfixed on what I hear. I go to daily mass, so honestly some days, I'm thinking, "blah, blah, blabbity blah." Now, I'm hearing mercy and grace and love and what God wants to do for me to help me carry out His will. Hey, I've heard this a zillion times but never really HEARD it before. I realize this will pass, but I'm not daydreaming. My mind isn't wandering. I'm right there... because I know He loves me there.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9

My Deepest Devotion- What the Sacred Heart Means to Me

Last October, I went to a Secular Carmelite retreat at Our Lady of Peace Retreat Center in Beaverton, Oregon. Each guest room at the retreat house is named after a saint and mine was called the, “St. Mary Margaret Alacoque room.” Since I had no idea who that was, I looked up her story in my Ipod and found out she had a critical role in spreading the devotion of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I had been intrigued by that earlier in the day when I had picked up a Sacred Heart prayer card at the gift shop, so the meaning of my room seemed to be an odd coincidence. I started to meditate on the idea of what the “Sacred Heart of Jesus” really means. 

Of course, perfect love is a meaning of it, but it is not simply the abstract concept of love- It is embodied. I attended a Bible study last year and Father Bryce taught us about the concept of “heart” in the gospels. “Heart” was considered to be a place where mind and “gut” meet. In other words, the logic in our minds merges with the emotional, gut instinct and the resulting conviction is experienced in the heart. The sacred heart is the center of the circulatory system of his precious blood, all of which was shed for us, so the heart is also a symbol of core and total sacrifice. 

For the “Sacred Heart of Jesus” to be embodied also speaks of its deeply intimate nature with Christ. The devotion to the Sacred Heart started when the early Christians contemplated the Last Supper and how John laid his head on the chest of Jesus. As I contemplate those moments of the last supper, I remember what might have been my earliest memory, which was of my father holding me close to his heart when I was just a baby. I remember the deep peace I felt as I lay close to his heart. I realize that peace and close love is what Jesus wants for us to carry through each moment of our lives. 

In a world where people and families are so broken, they need the Sacred Heart of Jesus more than anything. Only His Sacred Heart offers what we need to feed us, sustain us and help us grow. Nothing else can do that. No one else loves as purely and deeply as Jesus did. Without merging our hearts with His sacred heart, our hearts will only love weakly and feebly. 

 In the year 700 in Luciano Italy, a Eucharistic miracle occurred. A consecrated communion host mysteriously turned into flesh. Twelve centuries later, the flesh is still free of decay. When technology advanced to the point it could be scientifically examined, the flesh was found to be a piece of human heart muscle. Why the heart? Jesus wanted us to know through this miracle how He loves us with all His heart. 

Why is my business called Carmel Heart Media? This is why- 

Sacred Heart of Jesus, on this day and every day, I consecrate everything I am, think, feel and do only to your Sacred Heart. Help me to be ever faithful. Amen. 

Luciano Miracle
Consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus