Receiving the Carmelite Scapular

This past Saturday, I was received into formation by the  Discalced Secular Carmelites. This was a day I had prepared for all year. Each month, I had some material to read and a short list of questions to answer.  Then, once a month, I had classes and help with discerning whether being a Secular Carmelite was what I really wanted to do. I had to apply, have references checked and be interviewed by the Council to confirm my vocation.

I had an instant reaction of joy from the start at the idea of becoming a Carmelite. The year prior to that, I had read the biography of St. Teresa of Avila and I was also studying contemplative prayer and preparing to write a book about it. St. Teresa appealed to me because of her emotional intensity and spiritual fervor, but the more I got to know her, the more I saw what a balanced soul she had. After a tumultuous period, she emerged in equilibrium, detached from her emotions. St. Teresa began her unique style of contemplative prayer life while she was in her 40's. In all of her years before of a nun, she had difficulty with silent prayer until a midlife breakthrough helped her complete her process of total union with God.

I had just entered my forties and was having a pretty bad midlife crisis myself. I did not like what I had done with my life and where it had led. St. Teresa gave me hope and inspiration. I decided if I could accomplish only one thing in my life, it would be to grow as close to God as I could. I had spent years following different "spiritual paths" that ultimately led nowhere and I was determined this time to devote my life to Christ.

The large scapular is an outward symbol of that. We don't have to wear the large ones every day under our clothes, but we can and some do. In lieu of that, the smaller scapular or scapular medal may be worn, but after being received as a Carmelite, the only time the scapular should ever be removed is to take a shower. I even read somewhere recently that there are Carmelites who will not remove their scapular even in the shower. Whereas members of the confraternity and those who wear the scapular as a devotion receive graces and benefits, I have just joined an order and the scapular is my habit- although normally nobody knows I'm even wearing it.

I've been wearing a small scapular all year that a good friend of mine gave me, but the meaning of the scapular keeps deepening for me. Wearing the scapular is a symbol of the yoke of Christ. It is also a symbol of servitude, because the original scapulars were like aprons. The scapular is also a symbol of being under the protection of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I'm developing fairly slowly in my relationship with Mary but I do feel the connection to her through the scapular. Last weekend, my formation director gave me a small scapular that came from Mt Carmel in Israel. I have four scapulars and a scapular medal now. Tiny little squares of cloth have become precious to me because they remind me that I am precious in the eyes of God.