With a stony heart,
It was hard to forgive,
the years you pretended
to be my Lord.
You accepted His praise.
You accepted His gifts.
You accepted His money.
You are a thief.
You took His devotion.
You took His love.
You distorted His holiness,
called Him a parasite,
when the real parasite was you.
You are not Him
and you are no mirror for Him,
for me, or for anyone.
Not once did you even try to be,
although you let people
believe that you did.
You stood in His place.
You blocked His way.
You made promises
you never intended to
keep.
Why do it?
It wouldn't serve you.
It was my crime too,
to believe in you.
I have agonized over
my idolatry,
and how I too
betrayed my Lord.
I will always go against myself
in everything I say and do
because if I don't,
I will stay the victim
of people like you,
who make "all for self"
your golden calf.
I unite this betrayal with Jesus'
betrayal by Judas.
And I offer it up for His holy
purposes,
for I am His, now and forever-
not yours.
Elijah,
God gave me a natural heart
just like you said,
so
please pray for me to use that heart
to love my betrayers,
leave God to judge them,
and wish for His mercy,
for me and for them.
Amen